- Release Date
- January 2012
BDSM, Erotic Romance
Have you ever looked at a crop and wondered what you could do with it that did not involve a horse? How about rope; what do you do with beautiful, soft rope or rope that is rough and tough? When your partner tells you "hurt me", do you get turned on? This book gives you a place to start answering those questions and others.
This book is not a be all and end all of how to do things. Instead, it is meant to give you an idea of where you can start and what you need to get started. How to make things a bit safer, as what we do can be--and usually is--dangerous. The danger is what turns many of us on: the ability to tiptoe on that edge of sanity and danger without causing harm is erotic and just fun. This book gives you a place to start so that you know what questions to ask.
This will also give you the understanding that you are not alone in your desire for what you need. You are not sick, just different. Your drummer is now our drummer and we march in the same basic direction.
Welcome to the kinky universe we have been living in for a while. Explore safely and enjoy.
May 12, 2012 [ OFFICIAL REVIEW ]
99 people found the following review helpful
Didn't know that Vanilla is more than a flavour for ice cream? Ever heard of a goat ejaculator? Did you know it can be used to cause a man to orgasm? Not sure the difference between a slave and a submissive? These questions and more are answered in THE ABC'S OF BDSM. This book is a very good glossary. On content alone, I would give it a 5 star. This is an excellent reference guide, which I will now be recommending to every single new person to the BDSM lifestyle. I will even recommend it to authors just starting in the BDSM genre. This is how great the information provided in this book is, in my opinion. I only wish I had this book over 20 years ago when I first started and had so many questions.
Why is it that I only gave it as a 3 star? It's due to the layout, lack of diagrams and pictures. If Ms. de Noche decides to update this manual, I would like to see pictures for the various implements and toys she's described. These can be photographs or hand drawn. I would also like to see diagrams of how certain scenes should work. The book will be more meaningful when the reader can visually see these toys or scenes. For new to BDSM, they have no baseline and this is harder for them to follow with only words.
Regarding the layout, it came across more as notes someone took at a class. It felt unfinished. Perhaps it is the way the headings were laid out. Or it could have been the lack of a formatted section when it came to safety and equipment. It was listed out in a numbered sequence, but it still didn't stand out clearly for me. I fear I'm a bit OCD and require my documentation laid out in a more formal manner. I also felt the question and answer section should have been up front, at the beginning of the book. I found this part most interesting. I enjoyed learning about Ms. de Noche and her medical training background as well as how she lives the life.
Lastly, the thing that bothered me most was the lack of a bibliography for references. For a non-fiction book like this, I'd like to have some bibliography to show where Ms. de Noche derived some of the facts. A reference would be much appreciated. Despite my grumbling, I do highly recommend this book to readers new to BDSM as well as new BDSM writers who aren't sure where to start for BDSM research.
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